Ode to Exposure

arweeda @ 2007-07-02T20:16:00

2007-07-03T01:16:37Z

i lurrrrv my new apartment!
i'll have to take some pictures. yep.

arweeda @ 2007-06-14T22:11:00

2007-06-15T04:12:33Z

thomas newman is amazing.
the end.

gettin there

2007-06-05T05:18:37Z

i keep starting to feel myself collapsing, but i'm actually surprising myself with how strong i am.
i'm still holding on and i'm still standing.
i think to most people see me as the same person i have been for years, but i've changed so much and i'm still changing. just this past week i feel like i'm morphing into an adult of some kind. some kind...ha. yeah. some kind. i hope its a good kind. i think it is. i think still being in college has granted me an accessibility to staying in a state of youth that i think is good to hold on to as long as you can. this is, unless, it doesnt grant you the knowledge and strength to survive the emotional strains that come alone with getting older. thats where i found myself. i cant go on waiting or hiding. my true self is slowly being exposed and along with this my true friends are being exposed as well. i know who really loves me, who has truly loved me in the past.
i'm starting to know what i deserve.

i just ran into a stranger that i talked to for quite a while that just made me feel alive. i just felt so engaged in the conversation and so interested. it was like something inside me just woke up.
i hope i get to talk to them again.

transition

2007-05-31T01:21:58Z

i'm cold and with the feeling and smell of dried sweat from a long and strange day.
my stomach is stinging. i havent had time to eat a real meal in days.

i've had strange phone calls, strange emails, strange encounters...
things are just weird right now. in transition.

i just hope its all for the better.

i get to see my granddad this weekend. i hope he's awake enough to remember. pray for him. he's been so upset at the hospital that they just keep him sedated.

a few of my favorite people from murfreesboro have moved or are moving this week to nashville. gettin me down :(

arweeda @ 2007-05-27T22:08:00

2007-05-28T02:16:12Z

so i'm still in this moment of figuring out how to be my happiest. what do i really want. all that good stuff.

my granddad is in the hospital say a prayer for him.

i'm reading an awesome book that britt loaned me, its called sex god.
everything the author says is just so simply put but so true and profound.
it seems like somehow he is stating so many true things that i never stop to really think about longer than a few seconds. it's like i can actually feel my mind clearing up.

i want to move to nashville.

two things

2007-05-19T17:26:32Z

1. if you havent seen fiona apple's video for 'not about love'. please, please go watch it on youtube.

2. referring to my post about feeling locked out. i found a song that fits my feelings perfectly.

."Reason Why"- by rachael yamagata

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
And we can hang out heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or whatever I find my place
I'll track you on the radios, and
I'll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I come to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed my the door

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I know the reason why

awesome good times

2007-05-18T06:42:30Z

TODAY WAS THE BEST DAY!!!!!!
1. i slept late
2. it was incredible outside
3. i was super productive
4. drawing 2 class was soooo much fun, i was way too excited all four hours
and felt like i had really made the right decision with my new major.
5. today was britt's birthday and i got to sit and eat the fanciest meal i've ever had with her incredibly fun and smart friends
6. i got an awesome late birthday present from anna
7. when i got home, my roomate jennifer had taped the season finale of the office for me and i watched it
8. IT WAS THE BEST FREAKIN EPISODE EVER!!!!! i cant get over it. it's sick really, how obsessed i am. but MAN. i think i'm going to wear my 'i live vicariously through jim and pam' shirt tomorrow.

today

2007-05-17T00:45:03Z

i just feel locked out, so now i have to let you go.

a brief moment at home

2007-05-14T22:22:06Z

i went home to do the mama's day thang and have my first moments with little miss maggie.
isnt she gorgeous?

matt n' maggie.

just sooooo itty-bitty! their smallest baby yet.
i'm so proud of my meagan!!!

my elegant jade.

profile- mr. green smith (aka. daddy)

daddy is always trying to teach me something about nature..

he made this for my mom....

mrs. mary smiff (aka. mom)

amelie's playroom (aka, my backyard)

all i have to do is work in the library this week. its awesome.

2007-05-10T17:14:58Z

last night i went to the boro to see charlie play.
this girl opened for the bands, her name was sharon van etten. i have such a girl crush on her!
i didnt get a picture, but go find her on myspace.
she's from brooklyn.
she makes her cd cases from liquor store bags and each cd has a different mix on it.
i cant stop listening.
anyways. some pictures from last night.

Jim rode his moped thing to the bar, so we had to play with the helmet.

i made charlie a cartoon.

luke trying on the helmet. jim looking a little scary in the background.

we even got charlie to wear the helmet for a bit.
but then he didnt like it.

so jim put it on and stood andy kaufman style behind charlie through an entire song.
i dont think charlie was so pleased, though. haaa.

i like flowers.

2007-05-07T20:15:12Z

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist.
People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you.
You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words.
Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

friends graduate. it happens.

2007-05-06T20:48:19Z

friends and roomies graduated.
there was a party, etc.

Thats Jennifer, my roomie, pointing up!

my friends tyler and will are in the middle.

crappy picture, but...tyler getting his diploma.

and then at the party...

charlie. always eating :)

i got caught in a downpour earlier and liz had the crazy eye! ha.

i love schmidty's nose in this pic. like a cute little bunny or something.

pretending to be miss america's when we gave them their roses.
the 'bachelorettes of science"

greg didnt want his picture taken.

tha whitney.

the semester is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arweeda @ 2007-05-04T09:10:00

2007-05-04T14:11:21Z

it amazes me how many directions your heart can get pulled around within the span of a few hours.

am i in the twilight zone?

2007-05-03T04:47:06Z

i mean, really? am i?

because today has been SO GOOD that i can't really believe it.

i mean, i really can't.
SO GOOD.
hahaha!
all i can do is giggle.
and try to enjoy the moment.

i had a fun weekend....

2007-05-01T03:42:03Z

girls night, half-marathon, etc....

WE WERE PUMPED. I WAS GREASY.

AUNT JANE, MERE AND ME THE DAY BEFORE THE RACE PICKING UP OUR GOODIES.

UNCLE CAL AND ELVIS.

THE NIGHT AFTER THE RACE. I WAS POOOOOOOPED.

MY FAMILY IS SILLY....

QUALITY TIME WITH THA BRITT.

DANCE PARTY WITH LIZ.

RELAXING AT CENTENNIAL PARK TO CAP OFF THE WEEKEND.

lots and lots of pictures.

i have a bad headache

2007-04-26T01:41:02Z

i'm not holding it together so well today.
just not a great day, thats all. i guess.

i close tonight, which is giving me time to work on my paper. but while i was searching for info, i typed in historical memory and eventually came across this page- which i thought was very interesting.
its about people our age, and what historical memory is actually meaning to us. its kind of scary.

WE ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY INDIVIDUALIZED

my visual dna

2007-04-25T03:09:04Z

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

thanks, tammy! that was fun.

a weekend in review

2007-04-23T02:19:46Z

this weekend was pretty eventful.
two of my roomates are in student programming on campus and one of them is the coordinator. anyways they got zach galifianakis to come on campus for free and do his routine. he was HILARIOUS, btw.
and i got my picture with him. i might want his babies. i got to meet arj barker, too.

ME AND ZACH GALI-FREAKIN-FIANAKIS!

part of his orphan annie skit. love him.

this was earlier, listening to the bands.

then last night i got to go see some pretty cool local bands that i really liked. baby teeth thieves and bad friend. you should look them up on myspace. good stuff.

in other news, i've been training for a half marathon i'm walking next weekend. i walked seven miles a bit ago and i'm whooped.

painted tonight...

2007-04-20T04:42:29Z

i dont like how the pictures turned out of it, it looks so different in real life. oh well.

this is what the 'cartoon' effect did to it, i like it kinda.

arweeda @ 2007-04-19T11:38:00

2007-04-19T17:40:59Z

i just finished a book review on a book i didnt read. its pretty dern good for not having read the book, too, if i do say so myself. ha. i've done that so many times this semester. just one more week!!! of this crap. i feel so good when i finish a paper. it has to be printed out, endnotes and title page and all sitting in front of me for the relief to sweep over me.

i think i feel strong today.
today is gonna be ok.

birds

2007-04-18T05:11:08Z

I got to see Andrew Bird last night.
He puts on an awesome show and his whistling is BA!

arweeda @ 2007-04-17T01:32:00

2007-04-17T07:33:08Z

You Are Most Like Charlotte!

You are the ultimate romantic idealist
You've been hurt before, but that hasn't caused you to give up on love.
If anything, your resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever.
And it's this feminine optimism that men find most appealing about you.

Romantic prediction: That guy you are seeing (or crushing on)?

Could be very serious - if you play your cards right!

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

arweeda @ 2007-04-16T10:33:00

2007-04-16T16:35:33Z

its pretty easy to see why writers throughout time have called it 'heartache' and 'heartbreak' because it feels like your chest is being ripped apart slowly with someones hands.

arweeda @ 2007-04-12T17:09:00

2007-04-12T23:10:02Z

so yeah, things got better last night :)

its wednesday.

2007-04-11T20:45:26Z

so i turned in a big paper last night and i'm not making myself do anymore school work till tomorrow. i've taken the day off. so now i'm at work and i'm left to the ramblings in my head.
so here they are.
-more than anything right now, i'm upset that its not possible to make somebody love you- no matter how much you want them to.
-i did not eat enough before i left for work and now i'm starving. i've got that whole nausea from no food in the tummy syndrome going on.
-my hair is huge today. it has a life of its own.
-it was raining earlier and i have wet bottomed pants, even though i rolled them up and i'm kinda cold from getting wet, even though i had an umbrella.
-brooke and charlie are both gonna be playing on campus during my break. hopefully i can go grab some food before that happens.
-i started thinking of things i could have asked for for my birthday. i couldnt think of anything when it was here. oh well.
-i have wanderlust today. i want to go to asheville, nc. its only 3 hours away. but i want to be there.now.
-the andrew bird concert is on monday. whooo!
-i'm worried about not getting into a class i need this summer. i could have gone to get it fixed this morning, but for some reason when i'm stressed about something i just totally forget about it. i woke up and though- nah, i dont have anything i need to do, i'll just go back to sleep. dangit!!!!
-if i could eat anything right now, it would be either sweet and sour chicken, pasta alfredo with lots of broccoli, or pizza. dang, i'm hungry.
- i feel strange today.

-i guess i'll stop sharing now.